Treatment Solutions Network's Comment Board

ANTHONY E. DINGLER
8-25-72 – 10-17-06

Friends,

With so many things changing in my life almost on a daily basis, I sometimes get so caught up in the blessings that my recovery has given me that I lose sight of the important things, the really important things! Sometimes I get so worried about the dumbest things and when that happens I become unfocused and just plan selfish, thinking about the things I think I need that I feel I am missing and I would feel better only If I could buy this or that, or go here & there, If everyone one would mind their business and leave me alone I would be fine, well when these thing happen is when I am putting myself at risk, or moving backwards.

There is one thing by no means that I can allow myself to do, that is forget, forget what it is was like! What it was like to destroy myself , to lie and cheat and steal just to get the next one, or that pain, the pain of feeling useless and like a failure & a disgrace, asking myself why am I doing this and why can’t I stop? But most of all I can’t forget what it was like for my family and real friends who watched helplessly as I broke their hearts, pockets, and my word over and over again, I can’t forget! See I thought that I was only hurting me and I would be better off dead, I forgot there were people who loved me & how bad my actions effected them as well..

I dedicated a Face Book group There is always Hope to the loving memory of Anthony E. Dingler my best friend who lost his battle with addiction in 2006. I think back to when Anthony and I were kids with dreams and plans of our kids growing up together as we did, the fun and laughs we had, together with Anthony’s brother John we set out to take over the world, As years past and living through and seeing things no one should see let alone kids it seemed to be that our plans changed, it wasn’t too long